


To Wherever The Wind Blows

by painttheworldinpastels



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Character Study, Light Angst, M/M, Na Jaemin-centric, Origami, inspired by an AKB48 song, mentions of Jaemin and Haechan's injuries, paper airplanes, this is supposed to be a happy(ish) fic though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 08:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18735196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/painttheworldinpastels/pseuds/painttheworldinpastels
Summary: The few breaks the trainees are given aren't usually spent making paper airplanes, so when Jaemin sees Donghyuck doing so he is very intigued.Alternatively: wishes on paper planes through the years





	To Wherever The Wind Blows

**Author's Note:**

> _Life is a paper airplane_  
>  Flying on with my wishes  
> With all my might against the wind  
> Just progressing  
> Rather than compete for distance  
> How I flew, where do I fly to  
> Those are the most important things  
> The beat of your heart shall guide the way

**13**

The music stops as the instructor announces a short break and all the trainees exhibit various states of fatigue - some sitting down, some crouching, some dropping to the floor with their cheek pressed to the cold floor, and some lying on their backs with an arm draped over their eyes to shield them from the harsh lights of the practice room. Jaemin sits next to his bag, gulping down enough water to get him through another two hours of intense practice. His eyes scan the room to look for Jeno, but they land on a lonely corner of the room. Donghyuck is there, holding a sheet of paper, folding and unfolding it repeatedly.

It's weird, because the only time Jaemin has seen Donghyuck around paper is when they're (begrudgingly) doing homework. Jaemin walks over and plops down next to him, but Donghyuck doesn't spare him a glance. Instead, he tears off a sheet from the notebook beside him (one of the notebooks he uses for school, Jaemin notices) and thrusts it in Jaemin's direction. Jaemin takes it, unsure what to do with it. It's covered in Donghyuck's neat scrawl, and he can make out last week's English lesson written on it. He wonders if Donghyuck will remember what he did with his notes when he looks for them to study for the test in three days, but that's not his problem. (Besides, he can always borrow Jeno's notes or ask Mark to tutor him. Donghyuck can get Mark to do it despite his protests, Jaemin's sure.)

Jaemin watches Donghyuck fold the paper in half lengthwise once, and two small triangles at opposite corners after. He figures out what Donghyuck was trying to make when he folds the small triangles into bigger ones and Jaemin quickly follows his lead. He makes sure the paper doesn't crease too much as he straightens the paper airplane out, checking to see if both the sides are equal. Donghyuck sneaks his hand into the bag next to him and pulls out one of those multicolored click pens, scribbling something onto a blank part of his paper before handing the pen to Jaemin. This time, Jaemin doesn't take it wordlessly.

"What are we doing?" He asks as he examines the pen, having trouble choosing just one from the nine available colors. Ultimately, he settles on the familiar black.

"Making paper airplanes."

"I know that, you doofus. What are we writing?"

"Wishes."

"What?"

"We're writing wishes."

Jaemin rolls his eyes. "I heard you the first time. Why?"

"So they'll come true." Donghyuck shrugs and moves to take the pen back from Jaemin but Jaemin clutches it tight, moving it out of Donghyuck's reach.

"Any wish?" He asks, even though he doesn't believe it will work. But he doesn't see the harm in indulging Donghyuck so he lists in his head things he wants to have, dreams he wants to come true.

"Any wish. But it has to be sincere."

Jaemin taps the pen against his chin. He decides on something simple and writes _new shoes_ next to Donghyuck's table of past-present-future tenses. It's a very organized table; Jaemin would probably have asked Donghyuck for his notes if he'd seen it earlier. It's quite sad that their possible key to passing the exam is turned into origami.

"Now what?" Jaemin passes the pen back to Donghyuck and Donghyuck drops it back into the bag without a care in the world. "Now, we make them fly."

"Now?" Jaemin takes in his surroundings. He sees Jeno squabbling with Jisung and some of the hyungs passing a cold bottle of water around, condensation evident on the outside of the container. It makes Jaemin feel thirsty again - maybe he should have wished for a cold, flavorful drink instead of new shoes.

"Later, at the back of the building after practice," Donghyuck answers him just as the instructor tells them the break is over. Donghyuck takes Jaemin's paper plane and flattens it against his own inside his notebook, and they get back into formation.

 

After practice, Jaemin and Jeno take the back exit of SM's building. There's a nice little park next to it, and Donghyuck pulls out the paper airplanes once they get to a non-crowded area of the park.

"So do we just throw it?"

Donghyuck clicks his tongue as he hands Jaemin his plane. "You don't just _throw it_ , you make it fly, Jaemin."

Jaemin lets out a sigh. Okay, fine, he'll _make it fly_. He makes to launch it but suddenly jolts out of his pitching position and taps Donghyuck's shoulder. "What did you wish for?"

Donghyuck frowns. "Aren't you scared that the wish might not come true if you share it?"

"You said all you have to do is be sincere, so I think it should be fine."

Donghyuck locks eyes with Jaemin, and his gaze is very, very sincere. "I want to debut."

Jaemin smiles fondly at him. Donghyuck is a bit taller, but not tall enough to warrant moving his eyes upwards too much for them to be at eye level. "We will."

"We will," Donghyuck says with conviction. "What did you wish for?"

"Just a new pair of shoes."

Donghyuck hums and aims the paper plane towards the sky. Jaemin mimics him and they _make the planes fly_ , and they subsequently watch the planes fall into a bush.

"Should we get those?"

Donghyuck shakes his hand. "It doesn't matter where they land, just let them fly wherever the wind takes them."

Jaemin is skeptical that that's how it works, and he doesn't feel right just leaving the papers stuck in the bush (whatever intentions they had, that's still littering), but he nods and follows Donghyuck as he turns away and heads back to the dorms.

 

A few days after, Jaemin's dad notices that his shoes are kind of worn out already and buys him a new pair. Jaemin puts them on excitedly and shows up to practice with the new shoes on his feet. He doesn't remember the paper plane.

**16**

When they get the announcement for NCT 127's debut lineup and Donghyuck is included, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung gather around him and shout in his ear, lift him up and cheer for him. Donghyuck is still in shock, not being able to look away from the person who made the announcement (none of the trainees knew who she was, but at that moment they didn't particularly care). They hug Donghyuck tight, sandwiching him between their bodies before Mark pulls Donghyuck away from them and towards the hyungs, who were waiting for Donghyuck with wide smiles and open arms.

Donghyuck becomes extra busy after that, and Jaemin doesn't get to see him for weeks aside from the nightly cuddles he barges into Jeno and Jaemin's room for. When Donghyuck finally has some time to relax the younger trainees all go out to the Han River (with Doyoung's supervision), and they stay there until the sky bleeds with the colors of sunset. Jaemin finds Donghyuck sitting away from everyone else, feet dangling over the water.

"Hey, Haechan," Jaemin greets him with his new stage name as he settles next to him. Donghyuck beams at Jaemin, and Jaemin sees the paper in his Donghyuck's hands.

"Nana, do you remember?" Donghyuck shakes the paper a bit but no, Jaemin doesn't remember. He tells Hyuck so because there are too many memories associated with paper (mostly bad ones because they're school-related) and Donghyuck smacks his arm. "For wishes," Donghyuck says. Ah.

"You want to make more wishes? How many are allowed? I already got mine."

"There isn't a limit to the number of wishes, silly. I told you, all you have to do is be sincere."

"You already got your wish too, you know." Jaemin remembers a younger version of Donghyuck, free from hair dye and extreme stress, jotting the dream of debut down on used paper.

"I wanted to debut with you, though." Donghyuck's tone is a bit wistful, but also a bit hopeful. Maybe he's still hoping that they'll be added to the 127 lineup, which is impossible because it's a fixed unit. Jaemin doesn't say that out loud, opting to hold Donghyuck's hand that isn't holding on to the paper instead.

"I want to debut with you," Donghyuck mumbles, eyes fixed on their intertwined hands. "With Renjun, Jeno, Chenle, and Jisung, too. With all of you."

"Let's wish for it then, maybe if we both do at the same time it will intensify the magical wish-granting ability." Jaemin gives Donghyuck's hand a little squeeze as Donghyuck nods and rummages around his sling bag for another sheet of paper and a pen. His debut won't come that easy, he knows that, and he probably won't stand with Hyuck onstage anytime soon, but maybe a wish offered to the heavens will help ease the pain of having to wait. Donghyuck's already been through this before, having expected to debut in NCT U only for his vocals to be replaced in their debut song and his dreams temporarily crushed. If Donghyuck survived that, then Jaemin can too.

Donghyuck and Jaemin make sure to use identical wording, and they hold hands as they launch the paper airplanes into the river. They watch the planes fall into the water, Donghyuck's plane hitting the water's surface just a bit before Jaemin's.

Jaemin dearly wishes that his dream of debut doesn't sink with the paper planes.

 

A couple of weeks later, NCT Dream is announced to consist of the youngest trainees and they're all stupefied because they're finally debuting? After everything? After the long, grueling days of practice, after the ache of not seeing their families as much as they like, after seeing their friends perform on stage before they do?

The first one to snap out of it is Mark; he's already debuted twice, after all. He gathers everyone into a group hug and talks about how happy he is to debut with them, how they should rest well because more practice will be coming soon, and lots of other things that go over Jaemin's head. Mark, as the oldest, naturally takes on the role of leader (though the company already decided that there wouldn't be one, since Dream is a rotational unit and would be switching members in time), comforting Jisung when he starts to cry, patting Renjun's back and assuring him that he'll do well when Renjun's eyes start to fill with tears. All Jaemin can do is stare at Donghyuck and Donghyuck stares back at him, their afternoon at the Han River at the forefront of their minds, thoughts going back to the paper airplanes zooming through the air before feeling the pull of gravity an being weighed down to be devoured by the water. Donghyuck's face breaks into a brilliant grin, outshining the sun his stage name is based on. Mister Lee Soo Man truly did not make a mistake in giving him the name of Haechan; Donghyuck is glowing, cheeks stretched wide, smile blinding in its intensity.

The next thing he knows, Donghyuck is hurling himself towards Jaemin. Jaemin braces for the impact, arms immediately winding around Donghyuck as soon as he makes contact. Donghyuck presses his face into Jaemin's shoulder and Jaemin feels his shirt grow damp with either sweat or tears, Jaemin doesn't care. He only holds Donghyuck tighter, burrowing his nose into Donghyuck's hair. The only thing on Jaemin's mind is _they're debuting, they're debuting, they're finally debuting, and they're debuting_ together, and he holds the feeling of happiness, of the fulfillment of his goal, of being with his friends for as long as they're able, of a happy yet sobbing Donghyuck in his arms, close to his heart.

**17**

Perhaps Jaemin should have wished for good health alongside his debut.

He's lying in his bed at home, watching a video of Dream's comeback stage. It's bright and fresh and colorful, exactly what NCT Dream was meant to embody. It's conveys a message of enjoying childhood, to be able to look back on it in the future and remember happy memories.

And he's not part of it.

It's not his fault, it's not anyone's fault really, but he still blames himself. He should have taken care of himself better, should have asked for help immediately after his back started hurting. The pain came in sharp little twinges at first, nothing to be too concerned over, but it wouldn't stop. It progressed from an annoying thing Jaemin could power through, to a throbbing ache which prevented him from exerting too much effort, to this excruciating pain that forced him to stave off any and all strenuous physical activity, including practice and promotions. He hates it, hates how useless it makes him feel. His bed doesn't feel as comfortable as it once did; now it feels like a prison keeping him from doing what he loves.

He remembers fearing being kicked out of the company. He remembers the sense of relief flooding in when they told him he'd be on hiatus for the time being, not dropped completely. He remembers the relief fading away when he ponders how long he'll be on hiatus for. He remembers wondering if the fans will ask about his whereabouts and his condition. He remembers wondering if the fans will miss him.

He remembers the downcast tone of his members' voices when they called him to tell him they'd be releasing another song, along with an album. It's not a full album, barely a mini album, but it's something without Jaemin and that makes them all sad. Jaemin assures them he's feeling better and wishes them luck. He doesn't mention wishing he could be there with them.

They call often. Voice calls, video calls, and they've even gone to visit him twice. Jaemin appreciates it, especially since they're busy practicing new choreo and recording new songs and preparing for interviews.

They do it all without him, and Jaemin tries not to be too bitter about it. He fails.

He can't watch the stages more than once. The only reason he's even watching them in the first place is because he promised them he would. He'd applaud how sharp Jeno and Renjun's movements were, how stable their live vocals sounded, and would joke that whoever he sees make a mistake would have to buy him his favorite coffee (a venti americano with four added espresso shots, no water, "as black as his soul"). He'd praise Jisung whenever he so much as breathed, and though Jisung was embarrassed Jaemin could see how much it meant to him. He'd shower Chenle with compliments and helpful critiques, encouraging him to ask if there was something confusing him. He'd go over the performances with Mark, looking for parts that could be improved on and tossing him some suggestions once in a while, and assuring him that they all did well. And he'd make sure to cheer for Donghyuck, telling him how much he really liked something he did onstage or how his eyes would always find him wherever he was positioned, how his lilting voice makes the upbeat song even more chirpy, how his clean moves were timed well and were always on the beat, dispersing his doubts and making him feel valuable.

They try to do those things for him too, really they do: they ask him how his day went (uneventful, as always), what he's eaten recently, what he's doing (usually just watching videos and contemplating the irony of life), how he's feeling (terrible, but he's not gonna tell his friends that). He smiles and puts on his most jovial tone whenever they call or visit so they won't worry, but not a lot of their attempts to cheer him up are truly successful.

It's dark outside when Jaemin finishes noting down things he'd noticed in their latest stage - he'd send them to Mark later, for monitoring purposes. He lies on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. He's memorized every part of it by now, from the soccer ball mark in one corner from when he'd kicked it too hard back in grade school to the spiderweb in another corner, the spider who made it very much alive and intending to make the web a big as it could. Jaemin spurs the spider on with motivational speeches sometimes.

He doesn't fall asleep as quickly as he used to, because spending all your days bedridden takes away the excitement of rest. It's late and people should be asleep by this time so he's surprised to see his phone ringing, and even more surprised to see Donghyuck's name flashing on the screen. He checks the time before he answers; it's already half past midnight.

"Donghyuckie," Jaemin says as soon as he accepts the call, "shouldn't you be resting now?" They have another music show pre-recording tomorrow, according to their group chat.

"Couldn't sleep." Despite his words, he can hear exhaustion in Donghyuck's tone. Jaemin can make out the sound of soft breaths that are most certainly not Donghyuck's, so he assumes that Donghyuck had snuck into Renjun and Jeno's room again. He usually sleeps at the Dreamies' dorm after their schedules; meanwhile, Mark almost always heads back to the 127 dorm. Technically, Donghyuck's roommate is Jisung but he is an extremely loud snorer (and he doesn't cuddle Donghyuck) so more often than not Hyuck can be found in Renjun and Jeno's room, snuggling with Renjun under the covers or clinging to Jeno while he's playing whatever game he's hooked on at the moment. Neither really minds.

No one stays in Jaemin's room.

"And how may I be of service?"

There's a short pause before Donghyuck speaks again. "I saw a Ryan keychain on someone's bag today."

"Hmmmm." Jaemin smiles softly. Donghyuck does this sometimes, he calls to let Jaemin know about a cute cafè he thinks Jaemin would like or whenever he sees something that looks like something Jaemin would like on sale, just little things that remind Hyuck of him. It warms Jaemin's heart, and these are the instances wherein he actually does feel better after they call him.

"It reminded me of you."

"Aren't you always reminded of me, though?" Jaemin is full on smirking now, and he hears Donghyuck sigh deeply on the other end of the line.

"I miss you." It comes out as a breathy whisper, and Jaemin's grip on the phone turns slack. He holds it tighter when it begins to slip out of his hand. Donghyuck doesn't say anything else, but the silence that follows isn't awkward; it's comforting in a sense but not really, filled with longing.

"I miss you too," Jaemin mumbles when he hears paper crumpling. Jaemin had recently gotten into origami and had begun teaching Donghyuck how to fold stuff other than airplanes. He looks over to his dresser to see some papers and his newest work staring back at him; two orange origami foxes, one bigger than the other - mama fox and baby fox. Donghyuck would always indulge him (he'd sent Jaemin a picture of a paper crane he'd made during breaktime yesterday) but at the end of the day he'd always go back to his magical paper planes.

Jaemin listens to the sound of paper being folded and unfolded repeatedly. It's calming, and the peacefulness of it hangs over Jaemin. His eyes were starting to close when he hears Donghyuck let out a yawn, and Jaemin looks at the time again. 1:03 a.m.

"Hyuckie, you really should sleep now."

He's met with a soft hum. He hears Donghyuck shuffle slightly and someone whispering for Hyuck to go to sleep. Hyuck shushes whoever it was.

"I wish you were here with us." The words are hushed, but in the quiet of the night it rings loud in Jaemin's ears. He hears a pen being uncapped and some soft scribbling.

"Do you think you could fly that paper plane over to me?"

"I don't think I have enough arm strength for that." Jaemin listens to some shuffling, and he hears the pen hit the floor. "I'll pick it up later," Donghyuck assures, and he hears a gentle whoosh zip through the air. Donghyuck had probably already _made the plane fly._

Jaemin waits for a dull thud before he speaks again. "Did it go far?"

"Not really, it hit the wall. But it doesn't matter where it lands, remember?"

"Hyuck," Jaemin hears a soft grumble which sounds a lot like Jeno. "Sleep. Now." His voice is loud through the speaker; Donghyuck must be cuddling with him tonight.

"In a minute." Jaemin hears more shuffling, and Donghyuck is talking to him again. "I hope it comes true soon."

Donghyuck's voice is merely a whisper now. Jaemin eyes the pile of origami papers on his desk again; maybe tomorrow he'll make a wish too. It worked before, didn't it? "I hope so too."

Donghyuck lets out another yawn, and Jaemin decides it's time to go to bed. "Goodnight Hyuckie, sleep well."

"Goodnight, Nana. Take care, okay? I'll call you again soon." The line goes dead and Jaemin's eyes fall shut.

When Jaemin wakes up around noon (his phone right beside him, running on low battery), the first thing he does is to quickly fold a plane and write a little plea, the desire to be with his members and perform again strong. He hopes its strong enough to make the wishing gods pity him.

He aims it out the window. The wind blows it away, making it dance in the breeze before it drops. He doesn't see where it lands, and he knows it's impossible, but he hopes the lonely airplane was able to make its way to Donghyuck.

 

It takes several months, almost a year, but Jaemin waltzes into the vlive they'd set up for NCT 2018 like a changed man. His aegyo meter increases, he ups his flirting, and he makes sure that his members and the fans feel loved, just like how they'd made him feel throughout that disheartening year.

**18**

NCT as a whole is busiest during 2018. Aside from the NCT 2018 project that was kicked off with non-stop promotions continuing into the middle of the year, there were back-to-back 127 comebacks later on and the rumor of a new unit (confirmed by the company to be the Chinese unit). Dream was very occupied as well, releasing a mini album with all seven of the members (they high-key wanted it to be a full album but they'll take what they can get) that charts extremely well, preparing for the Dream Shows and for Mark's graduation. They even make it onto popular international magazines as influential people and good role models, and it's the highest form of praise they have received so far.

The whole year feels almost too short for Jaemin. He'd only just come back from hiatus but NCT was going full speed ahead, with no time for breaks in between. It's overwhelming, but with his friends by his side and his family and fans' support, he feels like he can handle anything.

He almost forgets that life can be a binch sometimes.

Donghyuck twists his right ankle during a practice run for Black on Black. He sees it happen, sees Donghyuck spin a complete 360 degrees before he lands on the wrong side of his foot and falls to the floor. He sees Donghyuck's leg bend at an unnatural angle. He sees some of the members call for the manager while most of them surround Hyuck, asking him what parts of his body hurt, bringing him water and wiping his sweat away. He sees Mark run his hands through Hyuck's damp hair and sees Jeno swatting away anyone who jostles Hyuck too much. He sees Doyoung assessing if Hyuck had hit his head during the fall and sees Renjun engage Hyuck in mindless chatter to keep Hyuck's mind off the pain. He sees Johnny try to get everyone to back away and give Donghyuck some space and he sees Taeyong talking to someone on his phone, mentioning something about an ambulance while looking at Hyuck with a mix of concern and fear in his gaze. He sees it all because he's crouching next to Hyuck, holding his hand tightly. Donghyuck's grip is fierce and he's squeezing his hand so hard it hurts, but Jaemin doesn't mind as long as it comforts Hyuck even just a little bit. He gently maneuvers Hyuck to lean on him slightly so he doesn't have to hold himself up, and he feels some tension leave Hyuck's body as he does.

He sees Hyuck's eyes turn glossy with tears, but none of them fall. Instead, he sees Hyuck insist that he's okay, that it's just a little sprain. He sees Hyuck brush away their fussing, telling them to continue practicing and not to worry about him. He sees Hyuck flash them a wobbly grin and try to get up on his own but he also sees the expression of pain on his face as he moves his injured leg, so Jaemin wraps and arm around his shoulders and tells him to stay put. He sees Hyuck purse his lips together but he leans against Jaemin completely until medics come in with a stretcher to take Hyuck away.

Everything goes downhill afterwards.

Contrary to what Hyuck thought it was, it wasn't just a sprain; he had fractured his tibia and it would take months to heal. The members, the staff, and the fans are all devastated, and Donghyuck is absolutely crushed. They still had the end of the year performances to complete, and Hyuck was supposed to participate in the year's ISAC for archery. Donghyuck had been so excited, and seeing the light leave Hyuck's eyes when the doctor tells them that his activities should be halted for the meantime was gut-wrenching.

The excitement for the last stages with Mark as a member of Dream is shattered as Donghyuck is put on hiatus. They practice harder than they did before and are adjusted to cover up the gaping hole Hyuck had left behind performance-wise and otherwise. It's a daunting experience, and in the back of Jaemin's mind he wonders if this was how the members felt during _his_ hiatus.

(Immediately he feels bad for even thinking it because how could he be so selfish at a time and situation like this? But he can't shake the thoughts out of his head.)

They visit Donghyuck in the hospital a few days after the incident, when they find the time to do so in between their hectic schedules. They go in groups or pairs, or sometimes the members go alone. The one time they'd gone altogether was absolutely chaotic and their manager had advised them to go in clusters instead because apparently too many visitors disgruntle not only the patients but also the staff and the other visitors. Understandable, but Hyuck pouted the whole time the manager was explaining and all Jaemin wanted to do was sit in the stiff hospital chair next to Hyuck's bed and squish his chubby cheeks that are more prominent when he pouts forever.

Jaemin comes alone a few times, bringing along company in the form of food and gossip. He and the Dreamies keep Donghyuck updated about everything that happens both inside and outside the SM building, about their schedules and the places they're going to go to (and what gifts they're going to give him when they get back), about the holiday sale at the vinyl store Hyuck likes to frequent (they assured him that they bought some records for him and were rewarded by a beautiful blinding grin, one they'd missed seeing), about the long line outside the store that will be the first to sell the new game Donghyuck (and Jisung and Jeno and Winwin-hyung and Taeyong-hyung) had been anticipating, about all the things that interest Hyuck. They always keep Donghyuck updated through chats and calls, but Jaemin thinks that Donghyuck would prefer physical interaction so he makes an effort to visit at least thrice a week, with or without the others.

Whenever Jaemin visits, he sees paper airplanes scattered around the trash bin in the hospital room from where Donghyuck had attempted to shoot them inside and failed. He sees some paper planes inside the bin too, though Donghyuck's success rate isn't very high. He pretends not to notice them.

He pretends not to notice them but they're constantly on his mind. How many wishes has Donghyuck written on those, throwing them towards the trash can which could be considered a metaphor for throwing away one's hopes and dreams?

( _It's probably not that deep because he's always on the_ it doesn't matter where the planes land _bullcrap_ , Jaemin thinks, _but still_.)

Jaemin wants to match him wish per wish.

Now, Jaemin has learned a _lot_ of different origami figures while he was out of commision. Writing out messages on strips of paper, folding them into paper stars, and putting them all in a jar to give to Donghyuck seems to be the most appropriate course of action, but that's too cliché and Jaemin isn't _that_ cheesy. (It's a very cute idea though, don't get him wrong.)

He's heard of paper cranes granting wishes, but you'd need a thousand of them and Jaemin isn't sure he has the patience for that. And one thousand cranes only grant one wish, so it's not exactly worth it. Jaemin wants _all_ of Hyuck's wishes to come true, not just one.

Jaemin's left with only one idea. It's kind of predictable and could possible be as cheesy as the paper stars, but he makes mini paper airplanes and writes a message on every one, one plane until the day Donghyuck comes back to them. He compliments his voice, his dancing, his eyes, his skin, his laugh. He writes down memories they've shared, about how many times he's stepped on Jaemin's feet back when they were still trainees, about the meals he'd treated them to, about cooking with him with the kitchen at their disposal, just Jaemin and Donghyuck against a dorm of hungry adolescent boys. He notes down Donghyuck's habits, how he unconsciously holds hands with people no matter the occasion, how he sneezes in a weird manner, how he shuffles behind people when he's uncomfortable. He writes down wishes, wishing for him to feel better soon, for more recognition as a group in the future, to perform as 7Dream again.

Donghyuck goes back home as a part of his recovery. The day before he leaves, Jaemin ties the paper planes he'd accomplished up to that point with a rubber band and stuffs it into Donghyuck's bag when nobody's looking.

The rest of the year's activities go by without a hitch, like the universe isn't aware that a huge chunk of it is missing. Jaemin is ecstatic and proud that everything went well, but he finds himself resenting the space they'd managed to temporarily cover up.

Was this how it felt like while he was gone?

They still call and message Donghyuck regularly. Donghyuck doesn't mention the paper planes, and Jaemin doesn't know if he's even seen them.

Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin become adults at the stroke of midnight on the 1st of January. It's exciting, but something feels missing. Someone _is_ missing, but nevertheless they smile and celebrate, because that is how adults would act.

They call Hyuck that morning, on the way back to the dorms after the last performance of the year. They do their own little countdown and congratulate each other on graduating from baby to not-baby. This time, aside from Hyuck's actual presence, nothing feels absent. There's laughter and fun and joy, so much joy, the joy that only Donghyuck radiates. They miss it so much.

On that night, while penning a wish down, Jaemin stops to think. Like Renjun would say, the world is cruel. How could it harm someone as sweet and wonderful as Donghyuck, who just wanted to sing and dance and perform and make people happy?

Jaemin clenches his jaw and writes. He writes down a wish for Hyuck to always be happy and satisfied, because Donghyuck deserves only good things.

**19**

Donghyuck comes back to the Dream dorms with a cast around his leg and the news of him not joining the Seoul and the Japanese stops of NCT 127's first world tour. It upsets everyone but it's needed for Hyuck's healing, so no one puts up an argument.

Donghyuck stays with the Dreamies while the 127 hyungs are at practice. They make sure he's well-rested and thoroughly entertained; Renjun makes art with him and even lets him draw on his iPad, Jeno plays games with him in the morning and cuddles with him at night because he's the coziest according to Donghyuck (though on some nights when Jeno comes home late from his schedules, Jaemin becomes Hyuck's cuddle buddy), he and Chenle discover the glorious world of online shopping and the beauty of free shipping, and Jisung lets him have as many hugs and kisses as he demands. They accompany him to his physical therapy sessions too sometimes, but Donghyuck always asks them to wait outside, wary of his progress towards complete recuperation. Jaemin understands.

Donghyuck's recovery happens swiftly, too swiftly. It concerns the members and they tell Hyuck not overdo it or he'll end up needing to recover again, but Donghyuck refuses to sit and do nothing longer than necessary.

"I'd do anything to get out of this stupid cast," Donghyuck says to Jaemin one night as Jaemin slips into his bed and tucks him in.

"Injuries don't heal that quickly, Hyuck." Jaemin knows that, Jaemin's _lived_ that. Donghyuck knows that as well, and he gives Jaemin a small smile.

"I don't want to disappoint them, Nana." Them means the members, the managers, the company, the fans, the world.

Jaemin strokes Donghyuck's hair gently. "I know, Hyuckie. But I'm sure they're not disappointed - if anything, they might worry for you even more seeing you pushing yourself like this."

"I'm fine!"

"Manager-hyung had to carry you here yesterday because you were completely drained after your therapy session."

Donghyuck pouts, and when normally it would melt Jaemin's heart, this time all he feels is regret (and an overwhelming urge to kiss it gone, but you didn't hear that from him).

"I'm sorry this happened to you."

There's nothing but silence for a while, and for a moment Jaemin thinks Hyuck is already asleep. He's pressing his lips to Donghyuck's head when he hears Hyuck mutter "I'm sorry too".

Jaemin smiles, not that bitter smile he would have sported months ago, but an empathetic smile, one that has accepted past events and chosen to move on from them. "It's not anyone's fault. Your injury isn't your fault either."

Hyuck nuzzles into Jaemin's neck, and Jaemin hopes Hyuck doesn't hear notice how warm he is or how sweaty his hands are or how loud his heart is beating in his chest. "Sometimes it feels like it is though. One mistake. If I'd done that spin correctly-"

Jaemin shushes him with arm around his waist and a hand combing through his hair. "It was an accident, Hyuck. Do you know what an accident is? It's unintentional. Something you didn't expect."

"Doesn't mean it's not my fault, though."

"Donghyuck-"

"I've read the notes, you know. The ones in the planes."

The statement makes Jaemin forget his train of thought. He stares as Hyuck leans over to open his bedside drawer (a more responsive Jaemin would offer to do it for him and tell him to get himself back under the covers but he's still a bit stunned), and when Jaemin peers in he sees the airplanes he'd made scattered inside the drawer.

Donghyuck picks one up. "You're so amazing and special and you're a blessing to humankind," Donghyuck reads. "Isn't that a bit too dramatic, Nana?"

"I only write the truth," Jaemin manages to say when he gets himself to function again. "There's one suggesting you should stop singing whenever you wake up to pee at 3 a.m. if you're looking for criticism. Frankly, it's kind of scary to hear at a time when the ghosts are most likely out and about."

"You don't believe in ghosts."

"Renjun sneaks into my room, Hyuckie. He climbs into my bed and just sleeps there because apparently he thinks I can scare the spirits away. He doesn't even ask for permission anymore, he just pushes me aside at who-knows-what time and starts snoring."

"Don't pretend you don't like the cuddles."

"I do! But I don't like being woken up at 3 a.m."

"Didn't you cook for Jisung at 3 a.m.?"

"Jisung is my baby and I would do anything for him. Anyway, what were we talking about?"

Donghyuck clears his throat. "Right. So I read the notes."

"All of them?"

"All of them. Including that singing at 3 a.m. one. Will take it into consideration, by the way."

Jaemin breathes out a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

"Anyway, the notes are nice. I really appreciate them." Donghyuck's voice is soft. "Thank you, Nana."

Jaemin smiles at him and takes his hand. He squeezes it lightly. "You're welcome, Hyuckie. There's more of those actually, I don't think I've given you the rest yet."

"Next time," Hyuck mumbles sleepily. "Tired."

There's a pause before Jaemin speaks again. "You don't really think it's your fault, right? I thought that too, before. It's not necessarily true."

"Partly yes, partly no." Donghyuck shuffles to face Jaemin as he closes his eyes. "But all I really want now is to put the blame aside and just _heal_ , you know?"

Jaemin pats his head softly, watching as Donghyuck's breathing slows. "I know," he replies to a quiet room, filled with Donghyuck's snores and the promise of a new day.

 

Jaemin wakes up during sunrise and he watches the rays hit Hyuck's face, melding beautifully with his skin. Donghyuck smiles in his sleep as he snuggles closer to Jaemin, and everything is warm and tender.

He slips out of bed to make breakfast, but before he leaves the room he spots a folded piece of paper by the doorway. He picks it up, his eyes skimming over it to find that it's the wish he wrote on their first day as adults, the one about Hyuck deserving all the good things in this terrible world. Jaemin looks back at Donghyuck, all cozy and bundled up with blankets and hugging the life out of a pillow, and walks towards the dresser to place it underneath Hyuck's phone. Maybe one day Hyuck will believe it, but for now all Jaemin can do is hope.

 

Donghyuck's recovery progresses well and he is invited to join the Seoul leg of the tour last minute, albeit he's not allowed to dance with them and is confined to a comfortable (the 127 members made sure of it) chair. He gets the clear from the doctor's office a month after, enabling Hyuck to participate in the Saitama leg of the tour, the final stop in Japan. It so sudden and the announcement fills them with both glee and unease, but Hyuck repeatedly tells them not to worry about him.

They worry about him anyway. It's subtle, not an in-your-face kind of worrying that might upset Hyuck that consists of constantly asking him if he's okay or if he needs help to do simple tasks, but the kind of worrying where they observe him carefully, making him pause from doing something once they see discomfort on his face, letting him hold onto them when walking up stairs or stepping over a fallen branch without mentioning it, supporting him without being too overbearing. It's in the way Renjun lowkey babies Hyuck, in the way Jeno becomes clingy with Hyuck, in the way Chenle showers Hyuck with compliments, in the way Jisung doesn't complain as much as he did before whenever Hyuck asks him to do or get something for him. They don't want to be parted with him again that long ever again.

But unfortunately they _are_ parted, because since Donghyuck is doing better now it means that he can go on the tour with the rest of 127 (minus Winwin-hyung who's in China for WayV promotions). It means that Donghyuck isn't there for the music festival appearances, for the Immortal Songs performance, for the PUFF live interactive stories, and for receiving the Daesang from the Korean Entertainment Arts Awards, the first Daesang for any NCT unit. Mark and Donghyuck should be there, but they aren't.

It's a bit gloomy to celebrate as five what was accomplished as seven, so they wait. They wait until Mark and Donghyuck have a little bit of time on their hands before they leave for the North American leg of the tour and go out for lunch. (Mark pays for it.) It's simple, but it's enough.

When Mark and Donghyuck come back from the tour the Dreamies throw a slumber party in their dorms, complete with an endless lineup of movies to watch and unlimited junk food. Exhaustion catches up to them and they fall asleep fairly quickly though; Jaemin gets up to turn off the television fifty minutes into Spiderman 3.

He feels something hit him as he turns back around, and he sees a paper plane at his feet. Donghyuck is awake, his bag at his side and a pen in his hand. They lock eyes as Jaemin picks the plane off the ground.

He opens it to find the words _OT7 DREAM_ written in large letters. Donghyuck is still staring at him, almost pleading, like he was the one with the power to make it happen. Jaemin folds the paper plane back to its original form before settling in next to Donghyuck and he falls asleep with the paper plane still in his hand, dreaming of the seven of them onstage together once more - permanently this time.

**22**

Throughout the years, Jaemin had become very good at origami. He can make almost anything now, thanks to the internet and the origami guidebook he'd bought in a bookstore in Japan. He indulges requests (for animals, mostly) but he likes making paper flowers the best, with paper airplanes as a close second.

During a break in the filming for the newest fixed unit's debut music video (really, it's just OT7 Dream but since technically they're not Dream anymore, management is having a hard time thinking of a catchy new group name for them), he plops a bundle of different paper flowers tied together with a green fuzzy wire onto Donghyuck's lap. They're outside on a wide grassfield since the company decided that their debut song should embody youth like they did years ago (they were assured that it would be a one time thing though, and that the rest of the youth concepts would be passed down to the current Dream members). Donghyuck looks up from his lap and glares at Jaemin, and Jaemin notices the squiggly line on the airplane Hyuck had been writing on. Oops.

Jaemin slides down next to Hyuck and plucks a paper sunflower from the bundle, holding it out to Donghyuck. "I'm sorry?"

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, but he takes it anyway. "Here," he grumbles, shoving a pen and a piece of paper at Jaemin.

"You're never gonna stop making wishes, are you," Jaemin sighs dramatically as he folds a perfect plane. "Think of all the paper you're wasting."

Donghyuck bristles. "You're wasting paper too!" He whacks Jaemin with the bundle of paper flowers, and Jaemin laughs and admits defeat.

Once things had settled down again, with the birds chirping and rushing water from a nearby river and Chenle's high-pitched laugh as the only sounds, Jaemin sneaks a peek over at Donghyuck's paper. In Hyuck's writing, clear and bold, is a wish for success, for NCT to prosper.

Somehow, Jaemin knows that wish will come true.

"You done?" Donghyuck asks him as he caps his pen, and Jaemin realizes that he hadn't written anything yet. He tells Donghyuck to wait a bit as he racks his brain.

He sorts through wishes and wants and goals and dreams, searching for something he wants the most. It becomes clear when he sees Hyuck picking at the paper flowers in the corner of his eye, unfolding the sunflower and pouting when he can't put it back together.

It's what he's always wanted, but there's always been more important things, more important wishes. But maybe he can be a little bit selfish just this one time, can't he?

Jaemin quickly scribbles down Donghyuck's name on the paper and nods to Hyuck when he's done. He throws the plane as far as he can, and it lands on a low building's ceiling while Hyuck's gets stuck in the gutter. Donghyuck calls him a showoff, but Jaemin's attention is on the paper plane with his quietest wish.

Jaemin hopes that one comes true too.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by AKB48's 365 Days of Paper Airplanes! This was supposed to just be a cute short fic to defeat writer's block but then plot happened and it snowballed into THIS
> 
> Uhm for the sake of the plot I allowed it because it's fiction but please DO NOT LITTER! Please pick up your trash and hold onto it until you see an /appropriate/ place to dispose of it, saving the environment is fun (and necessary at this point)!
> 
> The numbers are their ages internationally! Thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it, because writing it was a whole rollercoaster of emotions hahaha
> 
> twt: [@whatsavotingacc](https://twitter.com/whatsavotingacc?s=09)


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